It’s been 1 month today that I have not attended Sunday service. I feel lost and heartbroken.
Party of the reason Ive beenso detered from attending mass is:
2) Times for sunday service are too far apart
3) none of the churches feel like homey parishes
4) my other half doesn’t seem to be motivated enough to get up himself to try to go
Before my relationship God was flourishing and so alive. Now, I feel as though my communication with Him has been diluted out due to my lack of loyalty to Him. I always say, yes I plan on going to church tomorrow. Then when the alarm actually goes off my body does NOT want to move.
I want God in my life always and forever. And I know He wants to be in my life but I know that I need to make more of a conscious effort to fulfill my relationship with Him. I promise You that I will make an effort. I will not TRY I WILL make an effort.
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
— Marilyn Monroe
Never settle always improve always get better stronger smarter healthier.
163lbs was what the scale said this morning. I knew that I was gaining weight I didn’t know that I’m almost obese. I ran today for the first time in awhile. I use to love to run when I lived in American Canyon because it was easier. There were no cars, no trees, no nothing. Just the street and me. I ran almost every day because I had to get out of the house. Now that I’ve lived here in Berkeley, my more permanent home, i have so many more excuses. With all that aside, this morning, I went for my first run. I’ve had a lot of first every things in the past few months but I think this time it has to stick. For my own health. I need to forget about LOOKING good but focus on feeling better and getting better.
During the run:
Sprinted 2 sides of every block then walked the other 2. I think it was about 20minutes for the entire run.
Feeling: My chest was very tight but I think if I pushed myself I could have ran the entire thing. I just kept psyching myself out like “o ur tired.. u better stop” type deal. ick.
Tomorrow’s goal: wake up early and run. This time I’ll try to run around the entire block without stopping. It’s not much but it’s a goal right? May blog tomorrow, may not…. work Tuesday morning. Boo.
My latest snag from B&N:
The first choice because I’ve been hearing that the movies don’t do the books justice and that a lot of details are changed. If I can read the Twilight Saga I’m sure I can get through this set.
Second choice because well I don’t know how to cook. It’s a cookbook right? And yes I did watch the movie but honestly, I don’t know how to cook. I’m a very follow the rules type of person so if I follow a recipe and it doesn’t come out the way it’s suppose to, I blame the recipe. Haha.
Initially I wasn’t going to purchase the Julia Child book because I don’t do well with ones that don’t have colorful illustrations. But in the beginning of the book she gives all the detailed instructions you need in accomplishing a lot of basic cooking skills. So that’s what I read on my lunch break. How Julia Child began her career… well.. basically. Hopefully by the end of it I’ll be able to cook. Although I don’t eat red meat I’m starting to consider it as a tribute to this new experience I’m taking on.
My home away from home… there’s something about walking through isles of endless books, from romance to non-fiction to self-improvment. How organized and perfectly arranged they are on the shelves. And their smell…….. *sigh* It feels so good to just walk around my B&N and just look at the different covers and stories. I think of them as little adventures. You can browse them for light summer reading or if you like anything similar to me I read the Twilight Saga on my lunch breaks. Haha. I do own them it’s just that I leave them at home, safe and sound.
So I’ll wonder in and out each category. My favorite time to visit B&N is right after the lunchtime rush. When the stores AND streets are mostly empty or right when they open on Mondays, my usual day off.
There’s so much to adventure about in this wonderful store. I could stay there for hours on end just reading. I may not finish a book within the duration of my stay but I can have different adventures if I so choose. That’s what I want–adventure.
Hopefully that’s what I can bring out of my 8 year hiatus from creative writing. All I’ve known for years is science, science, science. Now that I think I know everything there is to BASICALLY know about science I want to venture thoroughly into the world and find out how I can apply it to helping others.
It’ll be difficult work but I guess that’s what’ll push me in the right direction towards that adventure I’ve been wanting. =D